Tuesday Notes - "Kick Me"

3:45pm

Dear Diary,

I made more mistakes today than Jim Cramer in a stock picking contest, including hesitating several times instead of trusting my instinct in both the Europe and U.S. sessions (resulting in less than optimal wholesale entries) and not recognizing the PM squeeze as quickly as I would have liked. Fortunately, the market provided its typical -- repeat after me -- high probability oscillations on this morning-after-trend day, which when combined with some "getting ticked off" perseverance and finally adjusting to the PM move got me on the right side often enough to scratch out a decent, albeit not spectacular +$8K day.

And here's the irony: Based on the day after trend setup, the chip gain should have been much higher, yet based on my self-graded performance, it should have been far lower. Yet I suppose if it means anything, it's a reinforcement that this business is not about perfection ... far from it ... it's simply a matter of never giving up and making do with your B or C game, which I've had for two days in a row now. Call it winning ugly.

And here's my continuing dilemna ... I still feel I'm just a step off my 2008 game, yet that single step is clearly showing itself in the P&L in the form of a reduced net compared to similar markets in '08, although the performance has been incredibly consistent in terms of 36/37 days now + on the year -- the one day brain cramp notwithstanding. The lower net income pace will be apparent in the month-end and year-to-date #s we'll see at the end of this week. And it's starting to bug me big-time, as I'd much rather have a lower % (I'm usually around 78%-80% ... not 97%) with a higher bottom line, which tells me I may still be trading on eggshells for some stupid reason.

As always, the finger points one way ... backward at me. Yet one thing is clear ... I need some kind of kick in the a$$ to get me out of this funk, and I'd prefer that it not be a real loss which usually forms the foundation for the next run. And yes, the reduced profitability IS a funk and unacceptable to me as it reflects suboptimal performance. As I've said before, I care about one statistic only which is all telling to me ... bottom line.

For many, this year's results thus far would be more than acceptable ... and I recognize that. Yet for me, it's not, and I've got a lot of work to do to fix it.

Maybe I need to walk around with one of those "Kick Me" signs on my back.

P.S. Check out today's Trader Tax Update post below if you missed it.