Wednesday Notes - Shut Up & Trade

I've been doing too much yakking during and after market hours lately, so I'm trying to talk less and trade more.

I'll elaborate over the weekend.

Tuesday Notes - Personal Trading Retreat

After exchanging some notes with Linda Raschke the other day addressing the challenge of staying motivated, I decided to move forward with an idea of getting out of my office and trading remotely for a week or so to keep the mind fresh.

So I've booked an oceanfront townhouse for the last week in May, which for four days will become my trading office after an initial weekend with my family.

The ironic thing is it's only six miles from my home & office (seriously), but will hopefully feel like a world away.  Yes, we live on Cape Cod, but not right on the ocean.  This will be ON the ocean (the arrow is my unit) ... although if it doesn't stop raining soon, it may end up IN the ocean.

Why the last week in May?  Well, I can't book it sooner (it's closed off-season), and rates will still be low that week before the tourists begin to arrive after Memorial Day.  Hell, I'm a trader. 

And the per-night rate??  A ridiculously low $130!  Talk about buying wholesale ... we're talking ocean-facing, newly renovated, two-story, central A/C & heat, a full kitchen, living room, dining area, private deck, high speed wireless Internet access, twenty steps to the beach and twenty-five to a 85 degree heated pool.

Quick note to Jellies - Other units remain available that week if you're so inclined.  I'll also be checking out the facilities for a potential fall get-together when the rates -- you guessed it -- go back down before they close for the season.

I of course won't have my full setup, yet as I've often said, give me one screen, two charts, an order entry system, and Internet access, and I should be fine.

My biggest challenge and possible distraction may be the fact that there's a strong wi-fi connection on the beach.

Hopefully, the weather won't be too nice.

P.S. And a very happy birthday to my dad who turns 83 today.  Thanks for all you've done over the years.  I just hope I can stay out of my own way long enough to become just half the person you became.

Monday Notes - Traveling

Posts will resume on Tuesday.

The Weekend Trader - It's OK to Get Mad

On this Palm Sunday, I discuss why it's OK -- and perhaps even essential -- to get downright mad at poor personal performance.  I also follow up on Friday's post concerning the firing of my head trader.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

P.S. Here's a great Easter season link reminding us how fortunate we are to have received the gift of color.

The Weekend Trader - Out of Town

I'll be out of town much of the weekend attending to some personal issues, returning late on Monday.

I'll try to squeeze in a post on Sunday as I work through a key psychological mindset shift, and will let Friday's post echo in the meantime.

I did play my best poker in a long time last night in a cash game though, laying down a pre-flop pair to a better hand five times.

Jellies - I expect to rejoin you on Tuesday.

Friday Notes - It's Never Easy

As this journal evolves back into, well, a personal journal, I'm going to try to again bring to light many aspects of this business that those who don't trade continue to fail to address, and that those who do truly trade often refuse to acknowledge publicly.

Before proceeding, please again keep in mind this is a diary which -- since mid-2008 and for now -- remains open to the public.  And as I've often said, if you don't care for venting, beating up on myself, the rare celebration, etc., then simply change the channel.  I'm sure the thousands of fictional personal accounts and hyped services on the 'net will provide you the easy dreamy stories that you're likely seeking.

Yes, it's true I've made millions in the market and performed amidst the top of my industry peers during a recent stretch.  Yet don't think it's ever been easy ... or ever becomes easy even for those of us who have been fortunate to attain a certain level of success.

It's not.  We have to work at it every moment of every day.  And if we don't, we join the masses of trading population who donate their capital to those that do.

As I've often said, chart patterns can be learned in a day.  Maybe less.  Oh sure, reinforcement over time can help, yet -- to use a poker analogy -- does one really have to play months of poker to understand that a straight is a series of five cards in sequential order???? 

Oh I'm sure you can spend thousands upon thousands to learn about fancy names for the straight.  And perhaps more for someone to point out on a moment-by-moment basis that you're indeed holding a straight.  And if you're the type of person who needs someone to tell them the WALK sign at the intersection means they should cross the street, perhaps that's why the industry is full of "I can't walk but will tell you when to walk" sites and chatrooms.  But I digress.

Yet trading really is all about the other stuff.  The stuff that no one talks about.  The stuff that most will never understand.  The stuff that most are afraid to discuss, lest it show that they're ... gasp ... human.

Most seasoned blog onlookers and all Jellies know that I'm a venter.  When I'm not trading well or lacking motivation and/or focus, most know it instantly -- primarily because I wear my emotions on my sleeve and tend to be more public with my screw-ups than my successes.  There are two reasons for this: (1) I remain sick and tired of the lack of such transparency in this overly-hyped industry, and (2) it's personally very therapeutic for me.

btw, does that make me a saint or martyr?  Ummm, maybe I wasn't blatant enough, so let me try this.  At times, I simply suck.

I know my personal demons well.  And most are the same in both my poker and trading games: motivation, focus, and energy level.  For those are the ONLY three elements of both businesses (btw, yes I do view poker playing as a business ... albeit a fun one) that will ever prevent me from being successful hour by hour, day by day, and month by month.

I also have one weakness that is especially apparent in my trading game, and one that continues to eat at me and my capital at times.  And that's my Eurex DAX trading.  And wouldn't you know it, Don1's stupid sequence the other day before I fired him?  He was short 60 DAX contracts as the market was moving hard against him.

So why do I trade the DAX?  Mainly because I've gotten "bored" with ES.  At the risk of sounding cocky, I know I can make money off ES any hour of any day.  So I continue to be drawn to the DAX and its "jitterbug" rhythm and far less liquidity which continue to challenge me.  Yet trading the DAX requires tremendous focus and increased hand/eye coordination, and if the energy level and focus are even slightly off ... well, ask Don1 what the effect can be.  And it only takes one poor DAX sequence to undo weeks of inner rhythm with one's primary bread and butter ... in my case, ES.

So these are my own personal battles.  Battles that I must fight daily.

And speaking of battles, I was again angry this morning.  For I saw Don1 and Don2 having breakfast together ... and while I don't know what they were discussing, the end result was that Don2 was late to work this morning and left a $50K MATD trade on the table.  All he had to do was show up and pick up the check.

Sigh.

It never gets easy.

Thursday Notes - You're Fired

It's back.  All of it. 

Charter blog onlookers will know them well: The countdown clock, the fictitious drawdawn, the scorecard, and yes, even the anger ... everything that kept me focused and motivated during the 1/08-3/09 $2 Million run.  I'd even wear my old socks if my wife hadn't thrown them out.  Remember, I'm a tightwad.

Why?  Simple. After sleepwalking through two days of market action, searching for a post-Jellie reason to trade, looking for every excuse in the book why not to make a trade, and simply not caring about trading just enough to cause me to loan some funds to the market with two stupid a$$ unfocused and undisciplined sequences right after I reached a key equity mark, at 10:15AM EDT, I decided I'd had enough. 

Case in point, I was doing my taxes during market action the other day, and then chose to sleep in during today's anticipated Europe breakout.

So I'm mad.  And we're talking door-slamming, pi$$ed off mad (just ask my trading partner).

And at 10:15AM, I fired Don1 (of the last session and a half) and replaced him with Don2 (head trader during 2008-09).  Don2 was of course a bit reluctant at first as he wanted to know what happened to his predecessor.  But he said OK only after I agreed to provide him with his old tools ... thus the countdown clock, etc.

And wouldn't you know it, Don2 immediately sat down and fired off twelve consecutive profitable trades that more than made up for Don1's morning mess.

So here's Don2's charter:  He has until April 1 to work his tail off to get back above that key equity mark, at which point prior equity resistance will have to equal support.  And then from 4/1 until my 50th birthday on 3/10/11, Don2 is going to manage my last official self-imposed race with a single carrot at the end:  To give myself the option to retire comfortably on my 50th.  Note I said "option" ... most Type A's don't ever retire until they're six feet under.

No dollar targets.  Instead, the extent of my quality of life after 50 will be completely based on whatever Don2 can contribute over the next year.  And I plan on pushing him ... hard.

Word of caution - You don't want to be on the other side of Don2's trades over the coming weeks.

My only question is whether he's any good at fixing doors.

P.S. Poker and massage night tonight.  But only for Don2.  And if Don1 asks for a trading job, don't even bother.