4:15pm Brief post today as I'm sitting on the tarmac at Logan heading to Atlanta for the next few days. Not much to say about today in terms of tradable action aside from the early morning support test and hold, after which I traded some bear trap extensions long after the 5-minute trend proved itself and turned back up.
The afternoon on the other hand was a slow melt up on plummeting volatility -- which is the only thing worse for a trader than a transaction tax -- which resulted in a give-back of some of the morning wins as I tested a few reversal probes that didn't materialize to end with a very modest net +4K chip gain.
A reminder to check yesterday's late night post to put Wednesday's earlier one in proper persepctive. I admit I'm still not fully healed and simply tried to go back to "grinder" mode today and keep the emotions in check.
I'll update the scorecard for today when able (probably later tonight after I land) ... which will ultimately reflect a light green bottom line on very light trading with some yellow and orange in terms of pace, pattern conviction, and energy level.
9:00pm Plane has landed and scorecard has been updated.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
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5 comments:
Hey, I couldn't agree with you more in terms of todays action. The danger of forcing trades is extremely high on days like today. No setups for hours... The low volatility grind up all day is the absolute worst type of trading day for my style. I call them 1 or 2 tick days.
RE: "I'm sitting on the tarmac at Logan"...
Don, that could be dangerous out there! I would wait in the terminal's concourse if I were you :)
...just looking for smiles,
-charleS
Charles -
Hey, the airlines have budget cuts, remember?
Seriously, it cost me $10 for a glass .. er, a cup of wine and a 1/4 can of Pringles.
Don
Hi Don, I need to vent a bit so I'm going to
follow your lead and just let it all out here.
I'm extremely frustrated and enraged at myself for pulling out of a big trade I should have stayed in last Friday, and can you believe I'm still upset about that?
My upset over this mistake has been getting in my way ever since, and I can't muster up the confidence to pull the trigger and get back on the horse. I'm determined to make tomorrow a better day, but for 6 days now I haven't been able to jump in. My confidence is low and my fear is high. I can't stand this feeling of being frozen and unable to make a trade. I hate watching opportunities pass me by, while I feel so stuck and can do nothing. I figure I'm going to just start back again with really small bets, just to grease the wheels and get my confidence back and from there, start to increase my bet size. As you said, it's all between the ears, and I'm in the thick of it. My intent is to let go of any negative energy I'm still holding so that it no longer affects my current and future choices. Self-forgiveness is what I am aiming for, and some good old "let it go and move on". Perhaps easier said than done, but I am praying for freedom from my own inner demons. I'm so tired and completely exhausted by the self-torture these voices inflict upon me. It's cruel really and doesn't motivate me at all. I want my life back, and all that these cruel voices have taken from me - my joy, my happiness, my money, my time, my energy, my sleep, my strength and vitality and the enjoyment of being alive. I say to these cruel and merciless voices who beat upon me day and night:
"Get the F### away from me and go back to wherever you came from, because I'm not going to sit here and remain a target for you to victimize. You have taken enough from me, and with all the energy I have remaining, I am determined to never let you have another ounce of my life-force.
Good bye and good riddance.
May the good Lord help me in my quest.
Thanks for listening
John
John -
Consider it vented.
As I told a friend the other day, when you've hit rock bottom, the good news is there's usually only one way to go from there, and on top of that, there's a solid Rock beneath you.
And while I don't give advice here, it's likely that every reader of this diary has been there, and it's one reason I formally added the "No Regrets" goal to my personal scorecard. Just focusing on that one objective seems to help me at times, including having one simple goal for the next day of scoring that single element green for the day.
It's amazing how easy it seems sometimes to forgive others, yet we're much tougher when it comes to forgiving ourselves. At least I know I am.
All I know is if we let events or people take away our personal joy, then they've won.
My hunch is you've uncovered the Rock to support your climb.
Best wishes on your new journey.
Don
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