Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday Notes - Me, Myself, & Bob

4:00pm First things first as I traded very lightly today with high % and tight scalp liquidity clips after first letting the market tip its hand to the upside this morning. Frankly, the patience meter was in high gear today as I slowed the heart rate waaaay down and only traded about five modest sequences, executing them all well, not trading after 3pm ET, and thus positioning June and Q2 to end on a positive note.

Yet as I've referenced in the blog lately, as well as mentioning to the cookout group over the weekend, I'm currently in MAJOR "look-ahead" roadmap mode, similar to late 2007 when I hit an indifference & sloppy trading stretch which was clearly reflected in my P&L.

And it was around that time in the fall of '07 where I decided to look ahead and gear up for a hard run at 2008 using the cornerstone "come from behind" fictitious draw and year-long race/countdown concepts, which served their purpose extremely well since then as documented throughout this journal, yet whose usefulness at this particular stage in my personal trading career has likely been exhausted for this trader. And here's why.

I firmly believe that when something works in trading, you don't question it and instead ride it for all it's worth. Keep in mind that initially, it was simply an experiment based on almost a decade of personal performance statistics that showed I traded best "from behind". Some experiment, huh?? Of course the one downfall to such an intense strategy -- as some have smartly commented throughout the last year -- is that it's likely impossible to maintain such an intense level of focus and belief of the imaginary draw for an extended period of time, especially as the true equity begins to grow and eventually snowball.

And while it may have taken 18 months, it seemed that I ultimately became completely numb to both concepts in May and June, and one could argue they actually became detrimental as I tried to run hard (1) on an empty fuel tank and (2) during limited market openings due primarily to my schedule, yet also by the natural changes in market pace.

So as noted in the blog margin to the left, I've dumped the countdown clock and mentally closed the last 18 months "race". Essentially, I'm getting up from the table to look around and get a new change of scenery and source of motivation before settling in for a new game. I've also added a new "snippet" section near the top left to highlight key current perspectives not worthy of a full blog rant.

Looking back ever so briefly, I suppose we can consider the last 18 months a case study as we learned a lesson about the motivational tools' usefulness and longevity (of course it's nice when lessons make vs. cost you money!), and I've put both concepts aside for now ... with the option of resurrecting them from time to time or in some modified format whenever I feel they would help provide me a boost.

Which leaves me right now looking ahead to the future with bold, eager eyes, firmly believing there's another untapped horizon to once again unleash the deep passion I have for this business in a way that's far greater than simply personal financial gain -- a belief that was reinforced in spades at the cookout. As I said Saturday night, could it be the world is ready for a new breed of turtles?

Over the weekend, we kicked around a few ideas, and I've been giving almost non-stop thought to the age-old "what now?" and "where do I/we go from here?" questions. For under the ground on which I'm currently standing, I'm sensing the definite vibrations of a new and different Bamboo trying to break through that I'm supposed to water and fertilize. Something that's rarely, or perhaps even never been done in this dog-eat-dog industry.

Over the last year and a half, we inadvertently took this industry by storm, tearing up hidden curtains, destroying some long-held myths and quieting doubters (most anyway) along the way in terms of the hard realities of this biz, including what it takes to truly be successful, and more importantly accountable -- both to oneself and to one another. A virtual no-spin zone.

Perhaps the last two months of frustrating schedule conflicts and lackluster performance is screaming at me to simply lay low and rest for the moment so I can listen for the signs and muster the energy for something even greater. Maybe in sick sort of way, that weekend bang on the head was to further get my attention so I'd truly listen to those traveling hundreds of miles to share their perspectives and insights.

All I know is it's hard to read the road map while driving. So I'm sitting on the shoulder right now ... looking for that route that leads to an even more invigorating trading journey ahead.

And at the urging of my college-age daughter, I've also begun to read "Me, Myself, & Bob", which is the story of Phil Vischer's (creator of Veggie Tales) similar journey to the top of his field, and the eventual brick wall he faced in terms of challenges, disappointments, and motivation for the new road ahead.

Perhaps part of my answer will come from a tomato named Bob.

One day left in the quarter. I don't plan on screwing it up.


E-Mini Player said...

As I said Saturday night, could it be the world is ready for a new breed of turtles?

Where do I sign up? :)

traderboy said...

Ditto what E-Mini Player typed.

Joe Clark said...

Bob is an excellent role model. You and Bob have quite a bit in common. He protects and bestows his wisdom on his best friend. And you do the same for everyone smart enough to follow along for the ride.

Growing up in MD, I only have one thing to say "Fear the Turtles"

Shame I missed the Bamboo, sounds like it was a blast. Good Day!

Diem Trader said...

Man! I wish I hadn't missed the cookout! Sounds like some great conversation. It's refreshing to have a group of people that want to make it happen together.