Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Tuesday Notes - The Joy of Trading

Tomorrow, a new day will dawn, a new year will be born, and we'll get to start over. 2009 won't care about 2008 just like today didn't care about yesterday and tomorrow won't care about today. We'll all get a do-over ... a mulligan ... another chance to wipe the slate clean and make fewer mistakes than yesteryear. At this end, I've ended this particular journey and will trade largely for enjoyment as the year begins.

Yes, these are the words printed in this very blog almost one full year ago, in the infamous "Night to Dance" year-end post, which remains an enduring motivational post for all who choose to dream.

Yet there's one word in that paragraph which haunts me as I prepare to close this chapter of life called 2009. Enjoyment.

For that was the plan ... to enjoy 2009. To trade for fun.

So what happened Don? Why did you detour to all-out Q1 work, Q2 burnout, Q3 Jellie launch, and Q4 trading restoration before finally arriving at "fun" almost a full 12 months later. Sort of like those Family Circus cartoons where Billy takes a 50 yard jaunt through a series of enticing distractions before arriving at his destination which was only 4 steps away to begin with.

As the answers are undoubtedly scattered among the 338 blog posts of 2009, I won't bore onlookers with trying to answer the question in this brief post. Suffice it to say that certain words are foreign to me, including "can't", "impossible", "failure", "complacency", and yes, I'm afraid from time to time, "enjoyment".

And so as I get ready for yet another bold step in my trading, I feel I must recapture what brought me to this business over a decade ago. Enjoyment.

Don't get me wrong ... I thoroughly love this business, and the passion which was momentarily lacking earlier this summer has returned in spades, thanks in part to the Jellie effort which continues to grow tentacles in many unexpected ways.

Yet I need to begin enjoying it more.

I wholeheartedly agree with many onlookers who said that I was far too hard on myself this year. Far too hard. And as I look back, despite all of my moaning and complaining at times, I must now acknowledge to myself that I had a damn good trading year, and am better prepared for my planned increase in size than I was at this time last year.

And then there's momentum, as it appears I'll be closing the year on my equity highs, and will have maintained a strong 2.7 to 1 win-to-draw ratio on the year. As for the initial self-imposed back-to-back million dollar years? I guess I'll have to instead settle for a two year average well into the seven figures. Not a bad way to fail I suppose.

Last year, I of course shot for the stars and found myself in a completely different galaxy. This year, I shot for the stars and hit the moon. And next year? Well, the plan is to add some solid-fuel rocket boosters in terms of sizing.

Soon, a new year will dawn, and yes, I've once again placed some lofty stretch goals out there.

And the toughest personal goal of them all?

To fully embrace the joy of trading.

For that will likely be my greatest challenge.

P.S. Thanks to those writing in support of yesterday's Chip and a Chair post. Seemed we stirred a few deep feelings with that one, and I've added it to the key post list in the lower left hand margin.